Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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