I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
