I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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