planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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