The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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