You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i believe in u and ur pee
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
