Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
