I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
