This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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