btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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