Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
