I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
