im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
