If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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