it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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