What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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