Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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