I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
is it fun? or sober?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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