Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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