I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
