you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
