Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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