How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize