im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Alive.
So much puke
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
