do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
