i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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