it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
