Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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