The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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