I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
