...so i touched it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
