The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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