just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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