But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize