Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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