Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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