I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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