There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize