just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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