i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
either way he was missing a nipple.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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