So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Please, let me fuck your mom
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
