Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
