dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
