i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
