this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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