Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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