I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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