listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
