Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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