wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
