why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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