Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
