SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
