Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize