it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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