It's Friday. Sex?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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