Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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