I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
